Mooching about

 

I went up to the shops today to have a mooch around, which naturally led to my need to know the etymology of “mooch”. Google led me to Wiktionary which gave me this: “From Middle English moochen, mouchen (“to pretend poverty”), from Old French muchier, mucier, mucer (“to skulk, hide, conceal”), from Frankish *mukjan (“to hide, conceal oneself”), from Proto-Germanic *mukjaną, *mūkōną (“to hide, ambush”), from Proto-Indo-European *(s)mūg- *(s)mewgʰ- (“swindler, thief”).” Isn’t it fascinating that a simple word used to describe a very ordinary stroll around the local shops goes all the way back to Proto-Indo-European, the earliest language as far as I know to have been described, although the meaning of mooch is now innocuous.

Then I remembered the song called“Minnie the Moocher”…

She was a “lowdown hoochie coocher.”

“She messed around with a bloke named Smoky
She loved him though he was cokey.”

 

Originally a song by Cab Calloway, it was much later taken up by The Blues Brothers. Down the etymological rabbit hole I went again to find out that “hoochie coochie” was a lecherous style of belly dancing!

This again took me to a bizarre song snippet my mother used to sing (without I suspect having any idea what it meant) which I may have told you about already but I think fits nicely with Minnie the Moocher whose boyfriend apparently used cocaine.

“I’ve been from Broadway down to Maine

Looking for a guy who sells cocaine …

So honey have a (make sniffing noise) on me

Honey have a (sniff) on me”!

 

Words are such glorious things. Take antimacassar for instance. It’s a piece of fabric, sometimes ornate, which hangs over the top of a chair or sofa. Its purpose was to stop the greasy brilliantine with which men smoothed their hair staining the fabric of the armchair or sofa. So that explains the “anti”.  The other part of the word comes from macassar oil, supposedly imported from the district of Macassar on the Indonesian island of Sulawesi. This product was commercially advertised from 1809 as a men's hair tonic "infallible in promoting an abundant growth and in maintaining the early hue and lustre of the HAIR to the extent of human life".

 

I came across a reference the other day to a haversack, a word I hadn’t seen or heard for a long time. We call these useful bags backpacks

The word haversack is an adaptation of the German Hafersack and also the Dutch haverzak meaning "oat sack", (which more properly describes a small cloth bag on a strap worn over one shoulder and originally referred to the bag of oats carried as horse fodder).

The French was havresac, from Low German hafersach "cavalry trooper's bag for horse provender”, literally "oat sack," from the common Germanic word ...

Haver is a German, Dutch and English surname. In Germany or England it refers to oats and is used as an occupational surname for a grower or seller of oats. In the Netherlands it is an occupational surname for a wood or stone cutter, not close at all to the oats derivation. The verb “haver” is defined as to talk in a foolish way, or to go back and forth on a decision. An example of haver is to waste time talking instead of working or to waiver back and forth on a decision, to vacillate. In Scottish English, haver (from the Scots havers (oats)) means "to maunder; to talk foolishly; to chatter"; in British English haver means "to hem and haw; to be indecisive", a slight variation of meaning.

In the course of wandering down the rabbit hole of all of these words and meanings (from Alice in Wonderland of course …), I found a series of letters to the editor from the British Guardian newspaper about the meaning and derivation of some common phrases which the correspondents thought were named after real people. In like Flynn for example, was in some mysterious way referring to Erol Flynn. Happy as Larry apparently refers to Lawrence Olivier who was extremely happy to leave Brighton after a season there. And life jackets came to be called Mae Wests after the buxom film star.

The phrase “gone to ground” presumably comes from fox hunting but “gone for a burton” is more interesting. My family used this for tripping over and falling. But apparently it’s a British WWII airforce expression for someone gone missing or dead, with the burton referring to going for a drink as most of Britain’s beer was made in Burton on Trent. So apparently the comrades of a missing or confirmed dead comrade would say “he’s gone for a burton”, meaning he’s gone off for a drink but really meaning he wasn’t coming back again.

And one more word which tickled my fancy is cagoule, in British English a lightweight, hooded, thigh-length waterproof jacket. We call them windcheaters and the Canadians use windbreakers.

And naturally, I had to look up “tickle my fancy” and got the following:

“This idiomatic expression is used when something pleases you or strongly engages your interest, though it can also be used as a euphemism for sexual pleasure or attraction. If you break down the phrase, tickle is used to mean 'to excite or stir up in a pleasing manner' (think of the smiling, laughing reaction of a person being physically tickled), and fancy as a noun that means “a notion or whim, a fantasy”. Dating at least from the late 1700s, tickle your fancy's original definition may have originally been closer to our modern euphemistic approach. After World War II, British English speakers began using it in a rhyming slang expression that associated a “nancy” (a male homosexual) with tickling your fancy (arousing you sexually or performing sexual acts with you). An alternate version is found in strike your fancy.

And a tip from my friend Carolyn from last week’s White Elephant. She checked Wikipedia and found that there really was a white elephant so the phrase also had a meaning of unique and special as well as referring to bric-a-brac.

 

Quote of the week from Chambers Dictionary of Modern Quotations:

From US journalist Earl Wilson: “If you look like your passport photo, in all probability you need the holiday.”

 

 

 

 Winter in TV-land

Have you ever noticed that it’s always winter in TV shows set in London or Chicago or New York? I don’t think I’ve ever seen an episode of my various favourite shows in which the characters aren’t wearing jackets and often scarves and beanies as well. By contrast I don’t remember the male characters in t-shirts or the females in sun-dresses.

I’m up to Season 23 in my current favourite binge-watching show, Silent Witness, set in the UK, and I think I’ve never seen the lead characters outside without their coats.

And shifting the focus somewhat, have you also noticed that the main characters in any show you’ve ever watched never have trouble finding a parking space when they’re on the prowl or on the hunt? This compares with the number of times I’ve ever had a parking spot fall in my lap, so to speak.

It also struck me recently that houses in London all appear to have mail slots in the front doors, good for poking things in or shouting through. We have post boxes instead.

British shows always have a relatively high proportion of Black African or Caribbean actors as well as those from the sub-continent – India, Pakistan and Bangladesh – who are mysteriously called “Asian”. Yet 86% of the British and Northern Irish population is white-ish with only 7.5 Asian and 16.3 Black with an added 1.6 “mixed”. Incidentally only 1.1% of the population is Jewish – in Australia we’re 0.5 % and falling.

And the most interesting observation I’ve made over a year or more of binge-watching British shows is that there are only 43 actors in Britain. They keep turning up over and over again from one series to another prompting one to exclaim with recognition: “Oh, that’s the guy from Downton Abbey” or “She was in Bridgerton” or “I recognise her from Spooks”.

If your preferred streaming service doesn’t allow you to skip it, it’s fascinating to see the names of the various people who work on a TV show. My favourite is “Best Boy”. Then there’s Gaffer, Focus Puller, Clapper Loader (I think I’d like to be one of these) and Standby Props. Is that a second-best Props person? In which case what is a Dressing Props? Production Runner is a little mysterious especially as there’s also a Floor Runner. And then, of course, there’s the Grip; one must ask what it is that he/she grips.

Back to fancy phrases and loopy words which we’ve been accumulating this year. We should put “fall in my lap” (as above) on the list and there’s also “no rhyme nor reason” which I’ve come across recently, although this one is almost understandable. Then there’s the expression “white elephant”. It should mean something very unlikely to be seen; instead it’s used for bric-a-brac, another interesting phrase, like the White Elephant stall at a market.

Where does “dribs and drabs” come from? And why is everything “fine and dandy”?

More to come – from you, I hope!

 

Quote of the week from Chambers Dictionary of Modern Quotations:

US film director Billy Wilder on actor Cliff Osmond: “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music”.

 Aunty’s efforts

I binge-watched the Queen’s funeral, much of which came to us from the BBC or Aunty as it’s affectionately known. The pageantry was spectacular and the camera work sublime. In fact, there were so many tricky camera shots that they overwhelmed the commentary.

All in all, there were too many silly hats and too few frocks and royals.

We Colonials don’t know much about silly hats, so I’ve had to look everything up. The silly hat mob included the vastly tall black fur cylinders with gold chinstrap, worn so far down on the forehead you wonder how they can see. They’re made from the pelt of Canadian brown bears (one bear per hat) and dyed black. Then there are the helmets with white or red feathers cascading from a knob on top and the amusing hats of the Yeomen of the Guard. There are 73 of these (odd number, isn’t it?) and their job is as ceremonial bodyguards to the Monarch. They wear outfits from the Tudor period and small hats with a brim encircled by what looked like red, white and blue leis. Interestingly, their most famous duty is to ceremonially search the cellars of the Palace of Westminster prior to the State Opening of Parliament, a tradition which dates from the Gunpowder Plot of 1605 when Guy Fawkes attempted to blow up Parliament. 

Some of the uniforms were encrusted with gold braid. One man had so much gold braid on his outfit – of lions and harps “quartered” as I think the heraldic language would have it – that it’s a wonder he could stand up.

Of course, there were lots of chaps in skirts, tartan ones. The different tartans were obviously worn by different regiments but were we told which? Not that I can recall in my five and a half hours of watching.

I also don’t know why the children of the Queen, except Andrew of course, wore military uniform

We weren’t told about any of this, about who was whom and what was what until some offhanded comments way into the broadcast. I felt very cheated!

It also took more than half of the program before they told us what was on the card tucked into the floral tribute on the casket, despite the fact that the camera panned to this regularly.

During the service, the Commonwealth Secretary General and the British Prime Minister spoke from two different places. Not being a Christian and unfamiliar with the geography of a Cathedral, I was puzzled and would have liked to have known why.

At one point the commentator said, pompously I thought, that they weren’t going to tell us too much because of the solemnity of the occasion. Really? It was being broadcast to the entire world so it was hardly private and a little explanation, sotto voce, would not have hurt.

Back to the frocks and royals.

I was hoping to wallow in vision of all the royals of Europe who apparently attended.

I think I saw the King and Queen of Spain but why didn’t they show us Our Mary, who could have been there unless her mother-in-law the Danish Queen did the honours. Half or more of Europe’s royals are related to the British royal house, so were presumably there but we didn’t see them.

And where were images of the British royals outside the immediate family like Princess Alexandra, Prince and Princess Michael of Kent, the Duke and Duchess of Kent and all their successors, the Duke and Duchess of Gloucester. And so on and so forth … Where were the family of Princess Margaret? Where were the children of Anne and Edward? I think one of each may have been in the grandchildren’s group but what about the others?

And then there were the frocks, or absence thereof in the commentary. Now except for the lads in tartan, every other dress was black … not a surprise. But would a little bit of commentary have hurt?

Am I’m unreasonable? Perhaps, given the solemnity and great beauty of the two services – at Abbey and at Windsor – and the extraordinary precision of the parades. (Mind you, I don’t think I could be the only person to wonder what would happen if one of the casket bearers had fainted.)

But I put the BBC on notice. Come the Coronation I expect lavish commentary on the attendees, the frocks, the regiments, the gold braid brigade and the meaning of it all.

 

Quote of the week from Chambers Dictionary of Modern Quotations:

British Conservative politician William Whitelaw of Labour Prime Minister Harold Wilson during the 1970 General Election: “He’s going round the country stirring up apathy.”

 

 

 Old but good

With the Yamim Tovim fast approaching, I thought it was a good time to give this lovely old piece of funny business another run.

During the last holiday season, many individuals expressed concern over the seating arrangements in the synagogue. In order for us to place you in a seat which will best suit you, we ask you to complete the following questionnaire and return it to the synagogue office as soon as possible.

1.    I would prefer to sit in the... (Check one:)
___ Talking section
       No talking section

2.    If talking, which category do you prefer? (indicate order of interest:)
___ Stock market
___ Sports
___ Medicine
___ General gossip
___ Specific gossip (choose:)
___ The rabbi
___ The cantor
___ The cantor's voice
      The cantor's significant other
___ Fashion news
___ What others are wearing
___ Why they look awful
___ Your neighbours
___ Your relatives
___ Your neighbours' relatives
___ Politics (uh oh)
___ Sex (Preference:______________________
      Who's cheating on/having an affair with whom
      Other:_______________________________

3.    Which of the following would you like to be near
   for free professional advice?
___ Doctor
___ Dentist
___ Nutritionist
___ Psychiatrist
___ Child psychiatrist
      Podiatrist
___ Chiropractor
      Stockbroker
      Accountant

          Lawyer: Criminal   

          Lawyer: Civil

___                        Real estate agent
___                        Architect
___                        Plumber
___                        Buyer (Specify store:______________________ )
___                        Sexologist
                             Golf pro [tentative; we're still trying to find a Jewish one]
                             Other:____________________________

 

                       4. I want a seat located (indicate order of priority:)
                            On the aisle
                            Near the exit
                            Near the window

                            In Aruba
                            Near the bathroom
                            Near my in-laws
                            As far away from my in-laws as possible
                            As far away from my ex-in-laws as possible
                            Near the pulpit
                            Near the Kiddush table
                            Near single men
                            Near available women
                            Where no one on the bimah can see/hear me talking during services
                            Where no one will notice me sleeping during services
                            Where I can sleep during the rabbi's sermon [additional charge]

5. (Orthodox only.) I would like a seat where:
                            I can see my spouse over the mechitza
                            I cannot see my spouse over the mechitza
                            I can see my friend's spouse over the mechitza
                            My spouse cannot see me looking at my friend's spouse over the mechitza

6. Please do not place me anywhere near the
following people:
(Limit of six; if you require more space, you may wish to consider joining another congregation.)
_________________________
_________________________
_________________________

Your name:_________________________________
Building fund pledge: $________________________

Quote of the week from Chambers Dictionary of Modern Quotations:

British journalist and novelist Keith Waterhouse, on Margaret Thatcher: “I cannot bring myself to vote for a woman who has been voice-trained to speak to me as though my dog has just died.”

 Vale your Majesty

 As I write this, I’m listening (well, bingeing really) to the ABC’s coverage of the death of Queen Elizabeth.

Many people are saying that most Australians have lived with no other Monarch, but I’m so old I was already eight when she made her first visit to Australia in 1954 not long after her accession. Along with what was estimated as at least half of the entire population of Sydney, my mother, my brother and I went somewhere now forgotten where we could join people lining the streets to wave little Union Jacks as her cortège drove by. 

I can’t say I remember that, but I do have a shred of memory that the day (on 3 February) was extremely hot and my mother (in the era before bottled water) knocked on a local door to ask for water for her children.

The year before, her Coronation had been marked, inter alia, by the publication of glossy picture books about the event. I remember having one of these and loving it.

Many, many years later I was honoured to be invited to a garden party with the Queen at NSW Government House. I can’t say she shook my hand, but it was quite special just to be there.

So … vale Your Majesty; as we say in the Jewish tradition, may your memory be a blessing.

And now to something a lot lighter.

My friend Manou got these word memories from a friend of hers. Some of this material is American-speak but enough is familiar.

He calls them “lost words from those of us lucky enough to have lived in the 1950s”.
“Mergatroyd! Do you remember that word? Would you believe the spell-checker did not recognize the word Mergatroyd? Heavens to Mergatroyd!The other day a not so elderly, (I say 75), lady said something to her son about driving a jalopy; and he looked at her, quizzically and said, "What the heck is a jalopy?" He had never heard of the word jalopy! She knew she was old!

Well, I hope you are Hunky Dory after you read this and chuckle.
About a month ago, I illuminated some old expressions that have become obsolete because of the inexorable march of technology. These phrases included “don't touch that dial, carbon copy, you sound like a broken record, hung out to dry”.

Back in the olden days, we had a lot of moxie.  We'd put on our best bib and tucker, to straighten up and fly right.

Heavens to Betsy! Gee whillikers! Jumping Jehoshaphat, Holy moley!
We were in like Flynn and living the life of Riley and even a regular guy couldn't accuse us of being a knucklehead, a nincompoop or a pill. Not for all the tea in China!

Back in the olden days, life used to be swell, but when's the last time anything was swell? Swell has gone the way of beehives, pageboys and the Duck's Tail; or spats, knickers, fedoras, poodle skirts, saddle shoes, and pedal pushers.

Oh, my aching back! Kilroy was here, but he isn't anymore.
We wake up from what surely has been just a short nap, and before we can say, "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle!" or "this is a fine kettle of fish!" we discover that the words we grew up with, the words that seemed as omnipresent as oxygen, have vanished with scarcely a notice from our tongues and our pens and our keyboards.

Poof, go the words of our youth, the words we've left behind. We blinked, and they're gone. Where have all those great phrases gone? Long gone: Pshaw, The milkman did it. Hey! It's your nickel. Don't forget to pull the chain. Knee high to a grasshopper. Well, Fiddlesticks! Going like sixty. I'll see you in the funny papers. Don't take any wooden nickels. Wake up and smell the roses.

Leaves us to wonder where Superman will find a phone booth ... See ya later, alligator! or after a while crocodile!
OkeyDokey. You'll notice they left out "Monkey Business" …

We are the children of the Fabulous 50s. We were given one of our most precious gifts, to live in the peaceful and comfortable times created for us by the greatest generation.”

 

 Grandma’s back

 

Hello dear family and friends.               

Grandma has had a holiday, made up of sick days and a barmitzvah. So one week rolled into the next and before I knew it, another publishing date disappeared into infinity.

But let’s take up where we left off with a wonderful set of funny and bizarre items contributed by my brother Peter from a list sent him by a friend. The veracity of these items can’t be proven but they’re funny as they are.

In the 1400s, a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed 
To beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have “The Rule Of Thumb”.

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled “Gentlemen Only ... Ladies Forbidden.” And that’s how the word GOLF entered the English language.  

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.  

Coca-Cola was originally green

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness is 28% but the percentage of North America that is wilderness is 38%.

The only food that doesn't spoil is honey.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them: “Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down!” It's from this we get the phrase “mind your Ps and Qs”.  

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. 
When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase ... "Goodnight , sleep tight!" 

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar-based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon. 

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. “Wet your whistle” is the phrase inspired by this practice. 

Don't delete this paragraph below just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it. 

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This 
is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? 

And finally …

You know you’re living in 2022 when ... 

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave. 

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.  

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.  

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.  

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen. 

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 

10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your tea or coffee. 

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.  -->  : )  

12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.  

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. 

 Things to be glad about

It occurred to me the other day that I’m extremely glad never to have to darn a sock again. I’m mildly pleased that I know how to do it but some decade or so ago was forced to the conclusion that socks were a) cheap b) frequently no longer made of wool and c) that darned socks are extremely uncomfortable to wear.

I’m glad that I no longer have to visit a bank, and that all my financial transactions are electronic. And I’m glad that I can understand just enough about electronic banking to actually do it.

I’m glad that my extremely low capacity for abstract thinking no longer troubles me. Take e=mc²; I’m lost before I get to m. I cannot understand what philosophers mean when they philosophise and my eyes glaze over when faced with certain levels of political discourse.

Discovering Dandelion Tea is another thing I’m glad about. I have never before liked “smelly” teas but I’ve become used to Dandy T which is a good thing as the water you use to make the tea is counted in your daily water intake. I know it’s very Byron Bay of me to mainline an alternative to real tea but it’s working well.

I’m especially glad we now use doonas instead of blankets. Blankets were so heavy that in my debilitated breathing state I doubt I’d be able to lift them.

I’m glad all the way to thrilled to open my diary and see no entries. I love pottering about with my knitting, sewing, embroidery and other crafting and do not love what sometimes seems like perpetual doctors’ appointments.

Not having to sing the National Anthem at the cinema is another thing to be glad about. Also, the cinemas up here on the northern beaches are delightfully old fashioned and never full, at least when I’ve been there. And thinking about entertainment has made me realise how glad I am that I’m not 20 today and don’t have to listen to the awful music that the rest of my family loves.

As the weeks go on I’m sure I’ll find more to be glad about, but I’m now going to segue back to he topic of interesting phrases and sayings.

Why do we have a “pair” of pants? A pair of shoes makes sense but why are pants a pair? Is it because they have two legs? And while we’re in the shoe department, do you remember referring to someone as a “goody two shoes”? Why two shoes? Why not wellington boots (or should that be Wellington?) or “goody bananas”?

When we’re flustered, we often say we’re “hot and bothered”. It’s very expressive but what does it actually mean?

I found myself the other day saying a movie we’d just seen was “not a patch on” its predecessors. This phrase is a complete mystery. Less mysterious is a “splitting headache”. I suppose it means that your head feels like it’s splitting open but it could so easily be a “thundering” headache or a “pounding” headache.

Equally close to being meaningful is the sentence: “I cried my eyes out …” It seems to imply that you were crying so much that you had no more tears left. But it’s still a trifle quirky.

And finally still on the topic of eyes, there’s the possibly politically incorrect assertion that “blind Freddy” could have seen what’s going on. Why Freddy? Why not Marmaduke or Evelyn or Peregrine?

 

Quote of the week from Chambers Dictionary of Modern Quotations:

US writer Mark Twain: “Golf is a good walk spoiled.”