Aunty’s efforts

I binge-watched the Queen’s funeral, much of which came to us from the BBC or Aunty as it’s affectionately known. The pageantry was spectacular and the camera work sublime. In fact, there were so many tricky camera shots that they overwhelmed the commentary.

All in all, there were too many silly hats and too few frocks and royals.

We Colonials don’t know much about silly hats, so I’ve had to look everything up. The silly hat mob included the vastly tall black fur cylinders with gold chinstrap, worn so far down on the forehead you wonder how they can see. They’re made from the pelt of Canadian brown bears (one bear per hat) and dyed black. Then there are the helmets with white or red feathers cascading from a knob on top and the amusing hats of the Yeomen of the Guard. There are 73 of these (odd number, isn’t it?) and their job is as ceremonial bodyguards to the Monarch. They wear outfits from the Tudor period and small hats with a brim encircled by what looked like red, white and blue leis. Interestingly, their most famous duty is to ceremonially search the cellars of the Palace of Westminster prior to the State Opening of Parliament, a tradition which dates from the Gunpowder Plot of 1605 when Guy Fawkes attempted to blow up Parliament. 

Some of the uniforms were encrusted with gold braid. One man had so much gold braid on his outfit – of lions and harps “quartered” as I think the heraldic language would have it – that it’s a wonder he could stand up.

Of course, there were lots of chaps in skirts, tartan ones. The different tartans were obviously worn by different regiments but were we told which? Not that I can recall in my five and a half hours of watching.

I also don’t know why the children of the Queen, except Andrew of course, wore military uniform

We weren’t told about any of this, about who was whom and what was what until some offhanded comments way into the broadcast. I felt very cheated!

It also took more than half of the program before they told us what was on the card tucked into the floral tribute on the casket, despite the fact that the camera panned to this regularly.

During the service, the Commonwealth Secretary General and the British Prime Minister spoke from two different places. Not being a Christian and unfamiliar with the geography of a Cathedral, I was puzzled and would have liked to have known why.

At one point the commentator said, pompously I thought, that they weren’t going to tell us too much because of the solemnity of the occasion. Really? It was being broadcast to the entire world so it was hardly private and a little explanation, sotto voce, would not have hurt.

Back to the frocks and royals.

I was hoping to wallow in vision of all the royals of Europe who apparently attended.

I think I saw the King and Queen of Spain but why didn’t they show us Our Mary, who could have been there unless her mother-in-law the Danish Queen did the honours. Half or more of Europe’s royals are related to the British royal house, so were presumably there but we didn’t see them.

And where were images of the British royals outside the immediate family like Princess Alexandra, Prince and Princess Michael of Kent, the Duke and Duchess of Kent and all their successors, the Duke and Duchess of Gloucester. And so on and so forth … Where were the family of Princess Margaret? Where were the children of Anne and Edward? I think one of each may have been in the grandchildren’s group but what about the others?

And then there were the frocks, or absence thereof in the commentary. Now except for the lads in tartan, every other dress was black … not a surprise. But would a little bit of commentary have hurt?

Am I’m unreasonable? Perhaps, given the solemnity and great beauty of the two services – at Abbey and at Windsor – and the extraordinary precision of the parades. (Mind you, I don’t think I could be the only person to wonder what would happen if one of the casket bearers had fainted.)

But I put the BBC on notice. Come the Coronation I expect lavish commentary on the attendees, the frocks, the regiments, the gold braid brigade and the meaning of it all.

 

Quote of the week from Chambers Dictionary of Modern Quotations:

British Conservative politician William Whitelaw of Labour Prime Minister Harold Wilson during the 1970 General Election: “He’s going round the country stirring up apathy.”