Grandma’s back

 

Hello dear family and friends.               

Grandma has had a holiday, made up of sick days and a barmitzvah. So one week rolled into the next and before I knew it, another publishing date disappeared into infinity.

But let’s take up where we left off with a wonderful set of funny and bizarre items contributed by my brother Peter from a list sent him by a friend. The veracity of these items can’t be proven but they’re funny as they are.

In the 1400s, a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed 
To beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have “The Rule Of Thumb”.

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled “Gentlemen Only ... Ladies Forbidden.” And that’s how the word GOLF entered the English language.  

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.  

Coca-Cola was originally green

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness is 28% but the percentage of North America that is wilderness is 38%.

The only food that doesn't spoil is honey.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them: “Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down!” It's from this we get the phrase “mind your Ps and Qs”.  

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. 
When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase ... "Goodnight , sleep tight!" 

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar-based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon. 

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. “Wet your whistle” is the phrase inspired by this practice. 

Don't delete this paragraph below just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it. 

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This 
is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? 

And finally …

You know you’re living in 2022 when ... 

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave. 

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.  

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.  

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.  

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen. 

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 

10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your tea or coffee. 

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.  -->  : )  

12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.  

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.